It’s Friday, in the evening of what has been a hot July day. My balcony doors are wide open and a cool breeze gently lifts the sheer curtain. I’m sipping chilled rosé from a brightly coloured glass and making notes for an article I’ve been asked to write. Last night was the private view for my first ever solo exhibition, and this morning I received a complimentary copy of The Voice newspaper with a full-page feature on a project that I’ve been working on for the last nine months.

Right now, in this very moment, I feel like I’m living the dream.

yesterday: front page & full page feature in the voice + flowers from @lanreworld for the #youngmotherhood private view. yesterday flippin’ rocked.

mid-flight. ☁️ #vscocam

the arrival of the test prints have got me on gas mark 9million. final tweaks before these bad boys are printed full size. it’s next week, are you coming? » bit.ly/ympreview « | » igg.me/at/youngmotherhood « #london #exhibition #art

“God’s been talking, finally I’m listening.”
Six Word Story by Jendella

At the beginning of this year I wrote in my diary that I really wanted to have a solo exhibition in 2014…

Are you gonna come?

Delivery!! 😁

I’m like all-the-way neck-deep in Young Motherhood  stuff at the moment…
And I wrote something for Bang2Write about how amazing Juno is as a film. Fun times.

I’m like all-the-way neck-deep in Young Motherhood  stuff at the moment…

And I wrote something for Bang2Write about how amazing Juno is as a film. Fun times.

Some round-faced video blog updates on the project and the campaign!

bit.ly/ympreview | igg.me/at/youngmotherhood

This is happening guys…

love notes going out this week have a lil goodie inside: an individually-sealed organic blackberry & blueberry teabag (tried & tested with the jendella seal of approval obvz) 😋 » igg.me/at/youngmotherhood «

Courtney & Davinia, 2014
The truth is I’m a bit of a relationship grinch, sappy displays of affection aren’t really my thing, but shooting with Courtney and Davinia really warmed the ice-cool exterior of my heart.
I say exterior, because I’m so obviously emotional my “not-fazed” demeanour is clearly an attempt to maintain my pretentious gangsta persona. Really, I love this stuff, and photographing two people who have chosen to love (more on love as a choice later…) and accept each other in all their flawed-perfection is a glorious thing. *sighs deeply*
Anyways. Let me go listen to some gangsta rap to rectify this imbalance of emotion. *throws up gang signs and shows off grills*
(If you would like a location shoot similar to this, I’m offering them as perks in my crowdfunding campaign. Check it out here!) Courtney & Davinia, 2014
The truth is I’m a bit of a relationship grinch, sappy displays of affection aren’t really my thing, but shooting with Courtney and Davinia really warmed the ice-cool exterior of my heart.
I say exterior, because I’m so obviously emotional my “not-fazed” demeanour is clearly an attempt to maintain my pretentious gangsta persona. Really, I love this stuff, and photographing two people who have chosen to love (more on love as a choice later…) and accept each other in all their flawed-perfection is a glorious thing. *sighs deeply*
Anyways. Let me go listen to some gangsta rap to rectify this imbalance of emotion. *throws up gang signs and shows off grills*
(If you would like a location shoot similar to this, I’m offering them as perks in my crowdfunding campaign. Check it out here!) Courtney & Davinia, 2014
The truth is I’m a bit of a relationship grinch, sappy displays of affection aren’t really my thing, but shooting with Courtney and Davinia really warmed the ice-cool exterior of my heart.
I say exterior, because I’m so obviously emotional my “not-fazed” demeanour is clearly an attempt to maintain my pretentious gangsta persona. Really, I love this stuff, and photographing two people who have chosen to love (more on love as a choice later…) and accept each other in all their flawed-perfection is a glorious thing. *sighs deeply*
Anyways. Let me go listen to some gangsta rap to rectify this imbalance of emotion. *throws up gang signs and shows off grills*
(If you would like a location shoot similar to this, I’m offering them as perks in my crowdfunding campaign. Check it out here!) Courtney & Davinia, 2014
The truth is I’m a bit of a relationship grinch, sappy displays of affection aren’t really my thing, but shooting with Courtney and Davinia really warmed the ice-cool exterior of my heart.
I say exterior, because I’m so obviously emotional my “not-fazed” demeanour is clearly an attempt to maintain my pretentious gangsta persona. Really, I love this stuff, and photographing two people who have chosen to love (more on love as a choice later…) and accept each other in all their flawed-perfection is a glorious thing. *sighs deeply*
Anyways. Let me go listen to some gangsta rap to rectify this imbalance of emotion. *throws up gang signs and shows off grills*
(If you would like a location shoot similar to this, I’m offering them as perks in my crowdfunding campaign. Check it out here!) Courtney & Davinia, 2014
The truth is I’m a bit of a relationship grinch, sappy displays of affection aren’t really my thing, but shooting with Courtney and Davinia really warmed the ice-cool exterior of my heart.
I say exterior, because I’m so obviously emotional my “not-fazed” demeanour is clearly an attempt to maintain my pretentious gangsta persona. Really, I love this stuff, and photographing two people who have chosen to love (more on love as a choice later…) and accept each other in all their flawed-perfection is a glorious thing. *sighs deeply*
Anyways. Let me go listen to some gangsta rap to rectify this imbalance of emotion. *throws up gang signs and shows off grills*
(If you would like a location shoot similar to this, I’m offering them as perks in my crowdfunding campaign. Check it out here!)

Courtney & Davinia, 2014

The truth is I’m a bit of a relationship grinch, sappy displays of affection aren’t really my thing, but shooting with Courtney and Davinia really warmed the ice-cool exterior of my heart.

I say exterior, because I’m so obviously emotional my “not-fazed” demeanour is clearly an attempt to maintain my pretentious gangsta persona. Really, I love this stuff, and photographing two people who have chosen to love (more on love as a choice later…) and accept each other in all their flawed-perfection is a glorious thing. *sighs deeply*

Anyways. Let me go listen to some gangsta rap to rectify this imbalance of emotion. *throws up gang signs and shows off grills*

(If you would like a location shoot similar to this, I’m offering them as perks in my crowdfunding campaign. Check it out here!)

» igg.me/at/youngmotherhood «

according to the various funding bodies i approached, there is no “need” for a project like ‘young motherhood’, i.e. they don’t think anyone is interested. so this me…not trying to “prove” anything to any of the arts establishment, but me honouring the women who opened their homes and their lives to me over the last 8 months, as well as for every young woman who has raised her kids, chased her dreams and lived her life to the best that she could despite living in a society that told her she could not. continually inspired and continually encouraged by the experiences of these women

» igg.me/at/youngmotherhood «

I hope my last post didn’t sound too depressed, because I have actually been working on some exciting stuff recently!
I wrote again for MAGNIFY on the topic of success, and my struggle with defining it for myself and not comparing my life to other people’s. (Anyone else been a LinkedIn stalker? No? Just me then…)
I have also wrapped up the first stage of my #YoungMotherhood project, and I’m about to embark on the next stage of editing. You can read all about it properly here.
You’re not doing anything now are ya? Go ‘head, have a read. x I hope my last post didn’t sound too depressed, because I have actually been working on some exciting stuff recently!
I wrote again for MAGNIFY on the topic of success, and my struggle with defining it for myself and not comparing my life to other people’s. (Anyone else been a LinkedIn stalker? No? Just me then…)
I have also wrapped up the first stage of my #YoungMotherhood project, and I’m about to embark on the next stage of editing. You can read all about it properly here.
You’re not doing anything now are ya? Go ‘head, have a read. x

I hope my last post didn’t sound too depressed, because I have actually been working on some exciting stuff recently!

I wrote again for MAGNIFY on the topic of success, and my struggle with defining it for myself and not comparing my life to other people’s. (Anyone else been a LinkedIn stalker? No? Just me then…)

I have also wrapped up the first stage of my #YoungMotherhood project, and I’m about to embark on the next stage of editing. You can read all about it properly here.

You’re not doing anything now are ya? Go ‘head, have a read. x

I’ve been wondering if I’m suffering from manic depression. In the same heartbeat I can feel both the ecstasy of excitement and incomprehensible joy and the agony of desperation and anxiety. The two feelings are so powerful it feels like my ribcage will crack, splitting into two, and tearing my heart apart with flying remnants of its bloodied muscle.

I’ve been thinking about calling my old therapist and asking her what this means, why my ying and my yang seem to be hurtling towards each other at a dizzying speed. But I won’t. The fear of being called back into her office and signed up for another round of soul-bearing, tear-stained sessions won’t permit me. It’s not that therapy doesn’t work, it really does, and it really has worked for me in the past, but it’s that I am mentally exhausted at the thought of going see her once a week on a Friday morning. It’s too much to think about right now.

Life is…good? Sometimes. A lot of the time, I think, yes. Work is going well. Some exciting developments are afoot with Young Motherhood, I’m writing more than I have done previously and I feel like I’m getting better and better at everything each day. I’m getting those morsels of validation and feedback that a more insecure version of myself craved/craves, and unbeknownst to me, somebody somewhere wants me to be a performance poet because after years of silence people are flinging opportunities my way and some of it actually pays. I have so much to be thankful and excited about.

–And so much to be sad about too. I won’t divulge the details of the undercurrent of melancholy that tugs at my soul each day, and not for the sake of maintaining a fragile veneer of glad rags and good times, but because I do not wish to invite pity. That’s one reason I find it hard to answer the “how are you?” question honestly. I would love some empathy, but sympathy and pity seem to be the only thing on offer, and both make my skin crawl.

I read one of my favourite stories in the Bible this morning, it was the story of the Hebrew heroine Deborah (Judges 4-5). She was a leader, a judge, a prophetess and a warrior, she talked a good game and had the actions to back it. She not only encouraged Barak, the leader of the Israelite army, but when he asked her to ride out with him she said “I surely will.”

Will you ride out with me?

“I surely will.”

I wish you would.

I am weary. Being sad is tiresome, it weighs down your bones. I don’t have the energy to react to all the good news in the way I wish I could – the way I know I should – and instead I let it wash over me like a sick and shivering invalid allows a nurse to gently bath their skin: providing momentary relief from the feverish sweat that coats their body.

And when it all gets too much, I type this confessional out piously, ready to post anonymously in a world with too much noise, commotion and distraction. Why? Why should you care dear reader? You have your own your own problems that you would probably tell me about, if I stopped listening to the inward clamour of conflicting humanity for just a second. I don’t know why, faceless friend, I don’t know why. I guess what I’m trying to say is: I’m alive. This life hasn’t killed me yet.